PHILOSOPHY: Poems and reflections ‘The system’

Knot in the stomach, sleep – but not enough- in the eyes, turmoil in your head: 20 minutes before the alarm goes off you find yourself awakening to this agony.

Well, not ‘awakening’, but I can’t think of a better word. Awakening certainly isn’t the right one, it seems to imply a state between asleep and awake, a peaceful in between to soften the blow. Awakening isn’t the right word, nothing there to soften the blow, just the rude knock of Tuesday morning banging on your head.

I said Tuesday but it might as well be Monday, Wednesday, Thursday or Friday, they’re all the same,( I’m writing this on a Tuesday, so I’m going to stick with Tuesday) Friday used to be better and Monday used to be worse, but then overall none of them were as bad as they are now.

There used to be some variation, days on which your stomach wasn’t fighting the break of dawn, days on which you didn’t wake up cursing and hissing and ‘not liking this at all’, days on which you had ( for some inexplicable reason), found the courage to actually rise and shine.

Those days faded and are now completely gone. Slowly but surely dead had nested itself in those 5 days, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, transforming them into one black hole. One huge black hole, swallowing the whole of life and spitting it back out on the weekend’s welcome mat .

The worst part of this was that you never came out quite the same. Initially you didn’t notice, or you refused to, the weekend was right in front of you and nothing else mattered. But over time you came to feel something was missing, after months and months of weekdays devouring you, you came to understand that ‘something’ was lost. Something had slowly been eaten away, it took you more and more time to recover and you never seemed to get back to your old state.

Now, you might think that I’m talking about the mere fact of aging. But this wasn’t just aging, it was not the natural process of days going by. Something was highjacking the natural flow of things, attacking your vitality, greedily sucking life out of you and the rest of the herd.

By Kim V.